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Post By Rhiannon wishes her father happy birthday Sat Jun 30, 2007 at 02:01:11 pm EDT |
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Attack of the Marshmallow Goldfish – a fun follow up to How I Annoyed a Pin Cushion Pirate. | |
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Part One: Guzzlers “Who,” my younger brother Matthew, second most-annoying person in the world, asked, “would want to buy a breakfast cereal shaped like a goldfish?” “Someone who doesn’t like goldfish?” suggested my younger sister Millie, first most annoying person in the world. “Don’t be stupid!” “I am not being! You don’t be stupid!” Did I mention Matthew and Millie are eight year old twins? They would be identical twins too only they happen to be different genders. It is only so long until they start another world-war. I was taking them around the supermarket. Poor me. “YOU SHUT UP!” “NO! YOU SHUT UP!” “Both of you shut up now!” “NO! YOU!” That was both of them together, annoying things. “Hey look!” Matthew races of towards some attractive display he’s seen. “What?!” Millie isn’t about to be left out of staring at whatever it is and sulking when she’s not allowed to buy it. Can an eight year old become in debt? Sighing, I follow in great trepidation as to what Team Colour Clash might have found. Team Colour Clash is my name for the twins most annoying, awful habit where Matthew will only wear certain colour clothing and Millie, copycat supreme, will only wear clothes of certain clothes too; only they’re different certain colours so as to annoy me further, yellow and purple tend to clash with red and brown. The brightly coloured display announced that a Hungry Chocolate Guzzler was only £19.99. Yes, that’s right a Hungry Chocolate Guzzler! The display further explained how the horribly named toy quickly guzzled any chocolate in the area until it was ‘all full’. And my little brother and sister wanted to buy this thing? “There’s a display one here,” Matthew announced excitedly, “I’m going to feed it!” He began fishing through his pockets for one of his ‘emergency chocolate bars’. “Me too!” Replied Millie predictably, pulling out one of her emergency chocolate bars. “You too are forever campaigning for more chocolate to eat yourselves,” I puzzled, “Now you’re feeding some quite happily to some stupid toy?” Something didn’t quite fit. Just then Matthew poked some chocolate at the displayed Guzzler. Then I understood. The colour clashed siblings shrieked excitedly as the evil looking thing began to chew frantically through bar after bar of chocolate. Nearby shoppers of all ages gathered closer admiring the thing, as it was the most amazing contraption they had ever seen. I wanted to be sick. Wave after wave of nausea washed over me as the malevolent thing grew in power and energy, I fell to my knees, too weak to stand, shaking uncontrollably. More Guzzlers clawed their way out of the packaging, attracted by the nearness of chocolate and the power of the first. The crowd cried in delight, no longer aware of anything other than the evil Guzzlers, desperately feeding them more and more as if it was the only thing that mattered. We were right next to the chocolate aisle. Soon people where grabbing handfuls of the stuff to shove at the Guzzlers. The shop attendants didn’t mind, they were feeding the things just like everyone else. From how I saw it it was as if the whole world was distorted. A deep black, insubstantial fog seemed to roll round the shop. Crowding people fought to push more and more chocolate at the Guzzlers. The floor seemed to tilt and sway. Aisles moved and spun. The whole world swirled like food colouring in water being stirred restlessly. The mechanical chomping of the Guzzlers sounded like laughing over the chaos. The affects where spreading. Throughout the shop, further. People rushed in wildly, carrying with them what chocolate they could find, not thinking, save to feed the awful things, called by the ever growing power of the Guzzlers. I was trampled underfoot by the pressing crowd. Too weak to move. I could resist the Guzzlers call to feed them, but here at the epicentre I couldn’t even summon the strength to stand. Desperately I searched for something, anything, to make this stop. After what seemed like an eternity I felt it, a shimmering golden strand of potential angry at the Guzzlers and the one who had made them, unable to do anything about it. I set the potential free. Everything was quiet. No-one moved and the nauseating affects of the Guzzlers had stopped. Suddenly too weak to even look to see what had happened I gave up the battle with unconsciousness and collapsed even more. Not far away an interested observer laughed with glee, packed a sandwich in his pocket for later and wandered over to complicate things even further. Coming soon… I promised both fun and goldfish in this chapter and so far I don’t seem to have included either, so watch for Part 2: Because every adventure needs a sarcastic garden gnome. Concepts, characters, and situations copyright © 2006 reserved by Rhiannon Rose Watson. The right of Rhiannon Rose Watson to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with the UK Copyright, Designs & Patents Act 1988. All rights reserved. |
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